Blair

My last post kind of touched on motivation, so I thought I might explain a little bit of my motivation. This is Blair Elizabeth Hamilton. We have been together for just about forever. We were high school sweet hearts, but I think I've loved her since the first time I met her.

I was in eighth grade and it was sunday morning. I was standing down the center aisle in the sanctuary at church. Walking down the aisle was a girl I had never seen before, she was tall and gorgeous, and I remember a girl next to me making some snide remark and I laughed because I knew every girl in the sanctuary was jealous. I also knew that this girl was going to be a part of my life.

Fast forward nine years and Blair is my best friend. We have been dating five years next month, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. As you can see she is pretty much the most gorgeous thing on the face of the planet, and I am still not sure why God has blessed me with her. I am a bit of an adrenaline junky: I love to drive way to fast and make poor decisions while mountain biking, but I never feel as alive then when I am in her arms. She is my motivation, she makes me better, she is my love.

Remembering the Past- Looking to the Future

Recently, some of my friends have been writing down all the humorous stories of our past. I must admit that it had been years since I had thought about the stories. I scrolled down the list that had to of been more than 150 long I found myself laughing hysterically in my room as I replayed the stories one by one in my head.

I could not help but feel blessed for the good times in my life. As a college student who is preparing to graduate in the next year, the future is something that I have been thinking about and yearning for.

The problem I am having is that the present seems to get left out of my life right now. And when you are not concerned with the present it is hard to trully appreciate the past and prepare for the future.

I am supposed to marry my longtime girlfriend immediately after graduation, but my lack of motivation has put my graduation time line in jeopardy. My mom used to tell me that I was always looking ahead. I looked ahead to getting a driver's license, then I was looking forward to college, and I am looking forward to graduation. It pains me to say it, but I think my mom was right.

The next few weeks I am going to be looking for satisfaction in the now. I have found that if you want to feel depressed, a good way is to come to the conclusion that whatever is over the bridge is far and away better than what the now has to offer. While this may be true, I think I have really discredited God's plan for my life. I have made his plan small and only about the big picture, while I hope it is precise and big.